Hello and welcome, my name is Lydia Proschinger. I’m 53 in October 2022 and mother of 3 now grown up children, whom I raised as a single-mom most of the time. I say most of the time because their physical father did have a roll in their lives, even if not a very dominant one. This is another chapter, into which I might get at another stage (subject: relationship patterns, childhood, role of the divine masculine)
Too much stress.
On a scale from 1 to 10, my stress levels fluctuated between 8 and 100. I had good times, and not so good ones. Especially when my stress morphed into physical structural problems (misdiagnosed protruding disc, sciatica, blocked iliosacral joint, etc.) and a very painful chronic illness. Of course, my body kept telling me to slow down but would I listen? No. I was alwas under the pressure to perform, and nothing I could ever do was good enough for the requirements I set for myself and that others had for me.
Too little time for my children.
I used to work a job (which translates to “just over broke”) and had to work long hours. At the time, it took me great efforts to be there for my children, and be the mother I wanted to be, conscious of their emotional needs, and attention. At the same time, I was required to give 200% at my jobs. Of course, I was not always able to be with my chidlren then, as keeping a job was priority to survive in a world where everyone is replaceable. I had to hire a “nanny”. So, rather than getting a Mercedes (the fancy car), I got a Mercedes (the not so fancy aid for home and child-care while away). I could sing a song in flat about that but I want to keep this blog inspiring. The change in tune from nerve wreaking to nerve restoring is a long story. To keep it short: It did not take a Shamanic journey with mushrooms to activate my third eye and feel like there was “more to life” than I was living. My perceptions went from “kitsch” to “seeing bunnies and unicorns” in a week anyway. But my life was not all roses and glitter. What’s my story? Oh well, glad you asked… here we go… read with care, and make sure you have things to drink, tissues, and a pad to take notes.
Too little time for myself.
two jobs and none done properly with a solid background in creative side activities such as singing Karaoke as well as reading self-help books. The life that wanted to be lived through me was bigger than an urge to escape on little trips to other cities, here and there. It was bigger than the need for organic food, and health-know how (regaining full control over my left arm was a long journey of pain all in itself). Making money last longer than the average diet would make it and keeping things at peace at home was difficult, and this just to let you know, you are not along and I want to stay authentically me. Was I a mess? Well, yes and still, my inner voice echoed “It’s all OK.”, “You’ve got this!”, or “Trust the divine, your soul has a plan.”
I had no idea what that meant for me. In 2008 I decided to create my own business, in 2010 I was “let go” to stay ethical, I won’t go into details.
Taking the first 7 steps
The first steps came like bread crumbs and at times when I had no clue, how to really deal with my messes. I slowly and radually shifted my perception, shifted my environment, and here they are in a brief list:
- I realized that I was the common denominator in all parts of the situation (I was not the first and only victim, and the others were not the purpetrators or that I needed a savior) and that blaming others was not recognizing my potential healing and growth that would shift me out of a vicious karmic cycle.
- I had a choice, in every moment there was learning, growth, and a deep underlying theme of my own personal growth that I needed to learn more about, my inner being wanting to be heard, seen, and held.
- I gave up making excuses for other’s. Bad behavior or gaslighting was not acceptable. Those who treated me badly did not need to be fixed, I needed to set clear boundaries, and make sure they did not get another chance to make me feel disrespected, or abused in any way, especially my generosity and kindness. I also gave up making excuses for myself and faced the truth that I needed to take an alternative, long-term approach to “fix” what needed to be managed and healed, which was also
- I had to say “No!” and learn how to do that. This would give me the priority and responsibility at the same time to be the navigator of my own change of structural components as well as the “software” that was running the hard drive of my “mother-board”. That sure was not going to be a “quick fix”.
- Look for alternative soul-based approaches that would offer lasting solutions, and long-term prevention of problems which would otherwise recur.
- Take life inventory of hard to ignore situations in life that I had tucked under the cover of the “normal” of our times.
- Look at all the 7 messenger symptoms that an awakening was taking place and a call had been issued by my soul that I was had to do something about my spiritual path. We will cover those in a few but then, also when realizing my soul’s purpose was lifting me into higher grounds of what I called “my true self-discovery”, I picked up on strange “synchronicities”. I felt that whatever it was that I wanted, it wanted me back, and badly so. Oh, and you know what else was there? I called them the sledge-hammers. Those moments in life you just couldn’t ignore? Know those, too? Yeah, that was all the attention that life wanted from me, I had to give that in a moment when I thought I finally was able to breathe, had things sorted out and could go about the happily ever after. Well, that’s what happens when you ignore the soul’s subtle nudges. I had to hire a coach, a few alternative practitioners, a personal trainer, and went to see Tony Robbins, twice. Crewed for him once. Got into his Elite Coaching program (later I trained in NLP and life coaching and as a leadership coach, and did energy work with energy meridian modalities, for my own healing and all this meant for me was “adding pieces” of the puzzle that was “ME”, and layer by layer getting through to the core. The first step there was to finally let go, open up, become the victor (not victim) in my journey, and emerge empowered after the lessons it took to get there. And yes, that is another chapter…. but this, just to get us started. I hope you enjoy the read and if you feel like there is an impulse here that you can take with you today, just comment below or reach out if you feel you would like to learn more about working with me. I wish you a blissful day and hope to see you again, soon.